*hugs*
k
| labels | ||
| | pointless words (emo, goth, skater, preppy, poser, etc.) used to stereotype people because of what they wear or what music they listen to. Most people who label others have NO idea what they are talking about, in fact anyone who labels people are narrow minded assholes that have nothing better to do. Just because you listen to My Chemical Romance doesn't mean you are emo and slit your wrists in a dark room with candles every night, and just because you wear a lot of black doesn't mean you worship the fucking devil, and just because you wear pink and say "like" a lot doesn't mean you are a poser. Seriously, people who label others don’t know shit like they think they do. If you disagree with what someone listens to, don't listen to it. And if you disagree with what someone wears, don't wear it. But whatever you do, don't tell them you disagree, because no one gives a flying fuck what you think. Labels suck. So do people who label others. Be yourself, and don't live by someone else's rules so you can be cool. *** One of the most common terms used by young people to describe others is "loser." That’s not a description, it’s a label. Some examples of the countless other labels we freely use to ‘describe’ others include fundamentalist, delusional, perfectionist, idealist, realist, extremist, terrorist, Catholic, Jew, Muslim, pessimist, pacifist, narcissistic, optimist, racist, liberal, homophobe, jerk, stupid, pro-life, pro-choice, two-bit punk, and loud-mouth. The problem with labels is they are merely shells that contain assumptions. When we are taken in by a label, we are taken in by opinions and beliefs. That is, we willingly accept statements without evidence of their validity. The assumptions become stereotypes, which soon become put-downs. Before you know it, we are engaged in name-calling or verbal abuse. People are complex, multifaceted, and multidimensional. When we apply labels to them, we put on blinders and see only a narrow view of an expansive and complicated human being. Did you ever buy a plastic container or bottle of food at the super market with a huge label on the lid and sides that prevented you from seeing the contents? That’s what the labels we use to ‘describe’ people do, they obscure the contents of the individual. When speaking about others, there’s nothing wrong with using descriptions. Novelists do it all the time. But there is a big difference between descriptions and labels. For example, think about the difference between saying "Tom is tall." and "Tom is a liberal." ‘Tall’ is a description because it is based on a fact; it’s just another way of saying "Tim is six feet, four inches." When we call Tim a ‘liberal,’ however, we empty the word of meaning. Here’s what I mean. What are you, a liberal, conservative, or other? The answer is on some issues you are liberal and on other issues you are conservative or other. Right? So, how can I describe you by a single term? If I were to do so, I would reduce you to a one-dimensional artifact of the profound person you really are. Wouldn’t that be grossly unfair? Isn’t that good enough reason to avoid the consumption of assumption? Labels lead to stigma -- a word that means branding and shame. And stigma leads to discrimination. Everyone knows why it is wrong to discriminate against people because of their race, religion, culture, or appearance. They are less aware of how people with mental illnesses are discriminated against. Although such discrimination may not always be obvious, it exists and it hurts. Words Can Be Poison  Labels are used by people who are too lazy to get to know someone. They take one look at a person and slap a label on their forehead without ever getting to actually know the person without ever actually talking to a person. Labels are judgmental. However, like it or not, sometimes we will be called upon to judge others. Perhaps it is in the role of a parent evaluating their daughter’s suitor, a supervisor evaluating an employee, or enemies preparing to negotiate. What then? How can we judge others fairly? If you are to judge and wish to learn the heartfelt feelings of another, don’t listen to what others say about him or her; rather, listen to what he or she says about others. For as Author Jane Porter wrote, "I never yet heard man or woman much abused that I was not inclined to think the better of them, and to transfer the suspicion or dislike to the one who found pleasure in pointing out the defects of another." Also, never judge the actions of others until you know their motives. In other words, judge them with your heart and mind, not your eyes and ears. While the emphasis has been on avoiding judging others unfairly, we cannot stress enough the importance of applying the same degree of fairness to ourselves. I know someone a little older than I who believed he was inferior because his education did not go beyond the sixth grade. "I have nothing of value to say because I’m uneducated." he used to say. He labelled himself as ‘uneducated.’ However, I explained how it was impossible for that to be so because life itself is an education. Fortunately, he no longer hesitates to venture his opinion and we all benefit, for he is wiser than many college grads. Our self-applied labels can bind us or free us. Compare "I am powerless" with "I am enthusiastic and confident." If you must label yourself, stick to positive ones, but not to the point of becoming arrogant or acting superior. Finally, if you don’t mind changing gears and returning to the subject of assumptions, not all assumptions are harmful, just negative ones. For instance, I have discovered that if we assume everyone is good, regardless of his or her behaviour, we will find that our assumption was correct. After all, goodness is our nature; we are all inclined to be good, and given the chance, we will prove to be so. Strictly speaking, this is not an assumption since it is based on and verified by long experience. On the other hand, if I start out assuming Tim is not to be trusted and has malicious intentions; won’t I treat him with contempt? And how will Tim respond to my contemptuous behaviour? Won’t he react with hostility? So, my assumptions create the reality that I assume to be true. That may be something worth thinking about. | |
No comments:
Post a Comment