Take Action

Every achievement is an idea that has been acted upon. Every success story is a story about doing what must be done to make the success happen.
A single idea could end up having a big impact on your life and the life of others. Yet for that to happen, it cannot remain merely an idea.
Sustained and focused action is the way wishes and intentions are transformed into results and achievements. It’s great to have a clever, creative idea, but only when you actually do something about it will it come to life.
It’s powerful and effective to know what to do, but only when you actually do it. Dreams come true not just because they’re nice and desirable, but because they’re worked on.
Don’t keep your greatest possibilities locked away in your thoughts. Bring those possibilities to life with your actions.
When you have a great idea, or a beautiful intention, give it the love, respect and expression it deserves. Act on it now, and for as long as it takes, and bring it decisively to life.

Dealing with Negative People

by Judy Orloff

1. Where’s it coming from?
Do you understand why this person is so negative? Is it because they hate their job, feel frustrated, feel trapped in their life or do they lack in self esteem so the only way they can feel powerful is by hurting others? If you can understand where it’s coming from, it’s much easier to deal with. Some people seem to think that the only way they can get what they want is to be manipulative. Remember the saying, "the squeaky wheel gets the oil." They believe this and think that if they don't whine and complain that they won't be heard and that this is the only way to get what they want.

Remember that the negative behaviour is a reflection of them. It tells you what kind of person they are and what issues they may be dealing with. It's not a reflection of who you are.

2. Just smile and remain completely detached
Whenever the negative tirade starts just smile and don’t say anything. Remain completely detached from it and don’t get involved in it. Leave the room if you can. The negative person is simply seeking to get a reaction from you. That’s what they feed on. Don't let them catch you in their web of negativity because as soon as you do, that’s when they start draining your energy.

It's the emotions that these negative people stir up in you that you need to learn to distance yourself from. Try just observing the whole scene. Say to yourself, "what a shame this person is so unhappy. Maybe some of my positive energy will rub off on her. If not, her unhappiness has nothing to do with me." This isn't always an easy thing to do but definitely a powerful technique. In order to get the full benefit from it, you need to make sure that you're aware of what's going on around you. It's easy to slip into auto-pilot and not realize until later how drained you feel. You need to detach yourself from the event while it's happening and just observe it.

This works well for family members who you don’t really have a choice as to whether they’re in your life or not.

3. Say, “Now tell me something positive.”
Right after they've finished telling you some tragic story, say to them, "now tell me a positive story". Some people have no idea how negative they’ve become. That's what they're surrounded by day in and day out so it’s just become a way of life for them. By being given the reminder, they may actually realize that being negative isn't the kind of person they want to be and may start to work on becoming more positive. Or, they may decide it's not worth telling you their horror stories because you'll ask them to think of something positive. Sob sisters (always whining, feel the world is against them, feel they're victims) will probably not find you very attractive anymore.

4. Imagine a bright white light surrounding you
Yes, this sounds silly but if you can do it, it’s amazing how much of a difference it can make. You'll feel that their negativity can’t touch you because you now have a force field protecting you.

I used to have a really nasty manager who would constantly try to make me feel like an idiot. When I had a shower in the morning, I would imagine that I was being covered with a protective oil so that any of her comments would just slide right off me. I also put up a post it note on my computer that said, “Oiyli” which stood for “Only if you let it”. It reminded me that her comments could only hurt me if I let them. If was my choice as to how to react to her.

5. Is it a sign?
I find that the “universe” uses negative people as the way to get me to move on whenever I’m getting comfortable in a situation that isn’t challenging me anymore. It’s like a prod that I should be focusing more on following my dream rather than just getting caught up in a nice, comfortable routine that isn’t getting me anywhere. If I didn’t have these people, then I would probably just stay. So, sometimes I'm really grateful to these people because they're giving me the "kick" that I need.

6. What does it say about you?
Negative people want to get a reaction out of you. And the only way they can is if they hit on one your "buttons" or something that causes intense feelings for you. For example they may bring out past feelings of guilt or anger or make you feel like you're being rejected or that you're not good enough.

So, if there's one particular person who drains you the most, ask yourself why is it affecting you so much? Sometimes, you can learn a lot about yourself by analysing what feelings it's bringing up within you. Once you figure it out and deal with it then you'll find that the energy draining person simply has no power over you anymore.

7. Trying to feel needed
Is listening to the complaints of the negative person your way of feeling valued? Does it make you feel needed? If it does, then you need to start valuing yourself more and you’ll find that this just won't happen anymore. Be selective about who and how you help others. Just listening to negative tales over and over helps neither of you.

A good test to see if this is happening is to notice how you feel after "helping" someone. If you feel drained or tired or annoyed or frustrated then all you've done is given over your own energy to them. This isn't beneficial to you at all, and rarely does it help them in the long run.

8. Try saying, “I love you, thank you, I’m sorry” over and over
This is kind of an "off the wall" kind of theory but it’s worth a try. If you want to read an article about how a doctor healed an entire mental institution simply by saying these words then read this story: Dr. Len. You can also listen to a couple of radio interviews with him on News for the Soul.

9. It’s not your fault
You may be feeling that you have to solve the problems of the energy drainer. You’re not responsible for the person’s life nor their negativity. You don’t have to feel guilty for them being unhappy. Let go of trying to fix or help them. That's not what they want anyway. They want your energy and so you have to be strong and not give in to them.

A suggestion by Judy Orloff for dealing with draining co-workers is to keep mentioning to the person that you have work to do and you can only listen to them for a minute. If after a few minutes, the person is still going on about the same thing then either change the conversation or politely but firmly end the conversation.

It's important to be able to let go of the idea that you owe everyone a solution. With some people you just have to let them go. They have to take responsibility for their own lives and they won't if someone is always there to fix everything for them. So, Let Go! It sounds mean but it definitely doesn't help them if they end up taking you down with them. In that case, then neither one of you is benefitting.

10. Be enthusiastic and focus on your own energy
If you can be higher energy than they are then your energy will most likely start to rub off on those around you instead of the other way around. Also, the less you pay attention to them, the less they'll affect you.


In Summary
"Energy Vampires" are going to appear in and out of your life. The trick is to learn how to deal with them before they appear. If you don't then they truly will suck all your energy right out of you without you even realizing it. They will also be having a huge effect on your life and whether you're able to achieve your dreams and goals. Learn how to deal with negative people so that as Judy Orloff says you can, "be confident that no one can drain you if you don't cooperate". Your life will just instantly improve.

Then there's MY WAY!!
 Slap the individual upside their head and tell 'em "GROW THE FUCK UP"

Moments In Life

There are moments in life when you miss someone
so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams
and hug them for real.

When the door of happoness closes, another opens;
But often times we look so long at the
Closed door that we don't see the one
Which has been opened for us.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive
Don't go for wealth, even that fades away
Go for someone that makes you smile to
Make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Dream what you want to ream
Go where you want to go
Be what you want to be
Because you have only one life
And on chance to do all things
You want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet
Enough trials to make you strong
Enough sorrow to keep you human and
Enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest people of all don't neccessarily
Have the best of everything
They just make the most of
Everything that comes along their way.

The brightest of future will always be based on a forgotten past
You can't go forward in life until
You let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying
And everyone around you were smiling
Live you life so at the end
You're the one who is smiling and everyone
Around you is crying.

Remember those who has touched your life
Remember those who make you smile when you need it
Remember those who's friendship you appreciate
Rmember those who are meaningful in your life.

DON'T COUNT THE YEARS - COUNT THE MEMORIES!!!!!

GAY or NOT... who gives a FUCK

I just read a story http://gayearthnews.blogspot.com/2010/10/same-sex-kissing-common-in-uk-male.html about how soccer players kissing on the field led man-on-man kissing to be a worldwide trend.

I Have Learned...

and I'm Still Learning...

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.
I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.
I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.
I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down may be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned that I'm getting more and more like my grandma, and I'm kinda happy about it.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed it.
I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.
I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.
I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I've learned that if you don't want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.
I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I've learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.
I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get further in life.
I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.
I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.
I've learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.
I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used.
I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
I've learned that no matter how fast or how far you go, you can't outrun God.
I've learned that no matter how far away I've been, He'll always welcome me back.
I've learned that love is not for me to keep, but to pass on to the next person I see.
I've learned that even if you do the right thing for the wrong reason, it's still the wrong thing to do."

I AM AN AFRICAN

By Wayne  Visser

It don't matter where you're from, I firmly believe that you will relate.

 

I am an African
Not because I was born there
But because my heart beats with Africa’s
I am an African
Not because my skin is black
But because my mind is engaged by Africa
I am an African
Not because I live on its soil
But because my soul is at home in Africa

When Africa weeps for her children
My cheeks are stained with tears
When Africa honours her elders
My head is bowed in respect
When Africa mourns for her victims
My hands are joined in prayer
When Africa celebrates her triumphs
My feet are alive with dancing

I am an African
For her blue skies take my breath away
And my hope for the future is bright
I am an African
For her people greet me as family
And teach me the meaning of community
I am an African
For her wildness quenches my spirit
And brings me closer to the source of life

When the music of Africa beats in the wind
My blood pulses to its rhythm
And I become the essence of music
When the colours of Africa dazzle in the sun
My senses drink in its rainbow
And I become the palette of nature
When the stories of Africa echo round the fire
My feet walk in its pathways
And I become the footprints of history

I am an African
Because she is the cradle of our birth
And nurtures an ancient wisdom
I am an African
Because she lives in the world’s shadow
And bursts with a radiant luminosity
I am an African
Because she is the land of tomorrow
And I recognise her gifts as sacred

It's OK to Quit

Quit arguing with people about the same old foolishness! Respect their position and keep
it moving!

Quit telling people your secrets when you know they are not going to keep them!
And if you keep telling them, then quit getting mad when they tell your secrets!

Quit trying to pull people on your journey who don't want to travel with you. Either they
believe in you and value you...or they don't!

Quit complaining about things you can't and won't change! (VERY IMPORTANT!)

Quit gossiping about other people! Minding our own business should be a full time job!

Quit blaming each other for things that in the big picture aren't going to matter three weeks
from now! Talk solutions...and then implement them!

Quit eating things you know are not good for you! If you can't quit...eat smaller portions!

Quit buying things when we know we can't afford them! If you don't have self control,
then quit going to the stores! Quit charging things, especially when you don't NEED them!

Quit staying in unhealthy relationships! It is not okay for people to verbally or physically
abuse you! So quit lying to yourself! It is not okay to stay in the marriage for the children!
Ask them and they will tell you that they really would prefer to see you happy and that the
misery you and your spouse/partner are living with is affecting them!

Quit letting family members rope you into the drama! -Start telling them you don't want to hear it!
Quit spreading the drama! Quit calling other relatives and telling them about your cousin or aunt! Minding your own business should be enough to keep you busy!

Quit trying to change people! IT DOESN'T WORK! Quit cussing people out when you know that
they are just being the miserable and jealous people that they are!

Quit the job you hate! Start pursuing your passion. Find the job that fuels your passion
BEFORE you quit!

Quit volunteering for things that you aren't getting any personal fulfilment from anymore!
Quit volunteering for things and then failing to follow through with your commitment!

Quit listening to the naysayers! Quit watching the depressing news if you are going to live in the
doom and gloom of it all!

Quit making excuses about why you are where you are or why you can't do what you want to do!

Quit waiting on others to give you the answers....and start finding the answers for yourself!
If what you are doing isn't working for you....then quit it!

Quit settling and start making your dreams a reality!-
Quit being afraid and START LIVING YOUR LIFE! CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT! If you want
something different than what you have had in the past...you must quit doing what you have
done before and DO something different! JUST QUIT IT ...... and START DOING something to
create the experience you want!

Cheerfully Do

Cheerfully Do...
Don’t be resentful of your responsibilities. Instead, be thankful for your abilities.
Don’t feel burdened by your obligations. Instead, feel the freedom and possibilities in the opportunities you have to make a difference.

Life can often be serious, complicated and demanding. It’s not all fun and games.
Yet every day, no matter what it holds, is a chance for real fulfillment. Every situation is a situation to which you can bring positive meaning and purpose.
If you get hung up on fighting against what you have to do, you can miss out on some of the most valuable and enriching things you’re able to do. If you waste a lot of energy on resentment, you have that much less energy available to create achievement.

Cheerfully do what there is for you to do, then step up and do even more. Life is yours to be lived, so give your life the richness you deserve.


Tomorrow Is Not Promised...
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are andwho you want to become. You never know who these people may be: your neighbour, child, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you and at the time they seem painful and unfair, but in reflection you realise that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realised your potential strength, will power, or heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity, all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whether they be events, illnesses, or relationships, life would belike a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere, safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life and the successes and downfalls you experience create who you are, and even the bad experiences can be learned from; In fact, they are probably the poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped youlearn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart...If someone loves you,  love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, butbecause they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them. Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again... Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen, let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high... Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself... for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either. You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it!"Live Each Day As If It Were Your Last...Tomorrow is Not Promised"
You cannot do kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late...


Declaration of Self-Esteem: I AM ME
Author: Virginia Satir
In all the world there is no-one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone chose it.
I own everything about me; my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself - I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes, because I own all of me.
I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me and other aspects that I do not know, but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do - I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.
I own me, and therefore I can engineer me - I am me and I am okay